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21 Oct

The Most Enviable Bleach Blonde Boys

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As a recent transplant to the South from the Northeast, I’m quickly learning that summer tends to hang on a little longer in different parts of the country.  With Halloween a week away and my thermostat reading 92 degrees, I can’t help but cling to summer a bit longer.  Don’t get me wrong, I love fall, but I’m not quite ready to give up the carefree feelings of summer just yet.  These last few days of hot weather hang heavy with denial.  I know soon enough I will wake up and smell in the crisp morning air; that cool September morning feeling of a high school student waking up to the first dreadful day of school, the cold faux leather of the school bus seats, jackets fresh out of storage.  Soon enough candy corn and comfy sweaters will win us all over and we will bask in the many blisses of fall, but these transition weeks are hard.  And to get you through and to keep you warm as the days get chillier, I have found a pretty solid solution.  Behold: some of the most enviable bleach blonde boys over the years whose Sun-In styles will keep those beach vibes strong in your hearts.  Feel the hot sand under your feet and escape in the sunshine with these California bottle blondes.  Bieber, Pete Wentz, and Adam Levine have all recently taken a head first dip into some bleach so I figured a swim in this blindingly blonde pool may ease any seasonal woes you may be feeling.

 

Eminem

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Marshall Mathers and Blink-182 were shamelessly my ushers into a love of rebellion at a young age.  In 2000 my mother helplessly tracked down an employee at our local K-Mart and asked him to help her locate an edited version of The Marshall Mathers LP to which he snarkily responded, “why bother?’  My mother’s answer was, “she’s 8.”  This is why I feel Eminem perfectly encapsulates that restless and rebellious summer feeling.  During this time Eminem was rocking the backwards visor velcroed around his bleach blonde buzz cut, highlighting his paleness and his whiteness in the rap scene of the late 90’s/early 2000’s. Who can forget the music video for “The Real Slim Shady”, the room of youths all in baggy white t-shirts and big baggy jeans nodding their heads in unison, the taunting sea of bleach blonde buzz cuts.  An iconic image and haunting suggestion that maybe there’s a Slim Shady in all of us.

 

Sisqo

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Nothing will take you back to that carefree summertime feeling faster than the spring break themed “Thong Song” music video.   And if you haven’t watched it recently I’d highly recommend a re-watch.   I had no idea Sisqo was such a good dancer.  This song was no doubt shocking when it premiered.   I can only imagine my parent’s faces when my middle school friends and I would sing along with every word on the radio. The horror was definitely there.   However, the true gem of this video is the look Sisqo pulled off. Aside from the white vest/no shirt combo, Sisqo rocked an iconic bleached buzz ‘do.   The white blonde razor-close shave was blinding as white sands on a tropical beach.   Imagine you’re there.   Take yourself away to Sisqo’s spring break and pretend it’s 80 degrees and you’re in Miami.   I’m right there with you. 

 

Ponyboy

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When Ponyboy and Johnny Cade ran away to that abandoned church, Johnny had the good sense to suggest haircuts to disguise the boys while they were on the run. He bought a bottle of peroxide and old-school bleached Ponyboy’s hair, wounding his tough greaser pride.  At first shocking, the blonde Ponyboy look really grows on you, especially when he slicks it back with that signature grease.  As we cling desperately to these final sunny days I hear those words echoing softly, “nothing gold can stay.”  Yes it can, Ponyboy.  Especially those golden locks.

 

Gerard Way

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For most of my emo high school years Gerard Way had those signature black tresses falling in his eyes over his death-pale face.  However, when My Chemical Romance ushered in the Black Parade era, Way shocked us with a short white-blonde cut that made our eyeliner run down our tear-streamed faces as we marveled at the beauty and also the album’s sadness.  A true master of emotions and a self-proclaimed “phantom to lead you in the summer.” Lead and we shall follow, blonde Gerard Way.

 

Sick Boy
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Jonny Lee Miller’s boyish charm in the drug laced trip of a film that is Trainspotting is only enhanced by the white blonde crop cut topping his head.  All of the characters in this film are strangely loveable despite their debauchery.  Danny Boyle does a great job of making the cast look cool and intriguing without glorifying drugs or making heroin use look cool.  Sick Boy’s unifying theory on life summed up is, as Mark Renton succinctly puts it; “We all get old. We can’t hack it anymore, and that’s it.”  But judging by some shots from the set of Trainspotting 2, Jonny Lee Miller is donning those white blonde locks again and twenty years later they’re not only back in style, but still looking great.  If this look won’t quit maybe this weather won’t either?

 

Kurt Cobain

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This guy was SOAKED in bleach. (I am so sorry I had to). The 90’s were a golden age of golden locks so it is hard to choose one official favorite blonde boy icon of the decade.  Nick Carter with his face framing bowl cut, JT with his blonde ramen, don’t even get me started on the Hanson brothers.  Too many good hair genes in one family.  However, to me, Kurt steals the show.  The effortless mess of long blonde locks embodies both rebelliousness and also beauty.  The grungy Cinderella in all of us.    

 

Jared Leto

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Not only did Angel Face have that strikingly beautiful white blonde mane, he had the brows to match. No wonder he was Tyler Durden’s favorite.  No wonder he had to be destroyed.  Nothing that beautiful can exist forever, right?  Wrong.  Summer totally can.  I am not in denial at all.

 

Joshua Jackson

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Who didn’t love Dawson’s Creek’s Pacey as Ryan Phillipe’s GBF in Cruel Intentions?   Blaine Tuttle had the gossip and the guys and played his part in helping Sebastian seduce Annette Hargrove with some good old fashioned blackmail and deceit in one of my favorite summer romance movies of all time.  

 

Guy Fieri

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Say what you will, but the man has built a career on an iconic look and persona. The way those icy, spiky locks complement those flame patterned button ups is hard to deny. He’s certainly making a bold hair statement and hey, I always appreciate that.  If he is bold enough to rock that look I feel bold enough to keep wearing dresses well into December and profusely deny that I am cold.  Let Guy Fieri’s confidence keep you warm and be your inspiration to keep those grills on.   May the backyard Bar-B-Q’s never end.  It’s always summer in Flavortown.  

 

Leisa Loan
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